29
Nov
09

Nintendo: If it sells don’t change it. [Bitchin’]

When you think about Nintendo, inevitably you think about Mario. Its Nintendo’s flagship… Somehow people dont mind much that Nintendo releases the same game over and over, like an EA’s FIFA. People already expect to have a fucking new Mario game with a little retarded new feature, but generally the same fucking game. The best of all this is that the game will get praised like a motherfucking masterpiece, it will outsell any other new releases and all that crap.

Last time I checked it was kind of fun when I was a kid, even then I didnt get into it. But definitely is a game for kids. It was and it has been in every rehash. A game for kids, that, somehow its better than strategy wonders like Alpha centaury. Typically the original Mario is on the top of the BEST GAMES EVAR LIST made by some fucktard that thinks that a platformer made 24 years ago it’s the pinnacle of gaming.

And if you are going to praise a platformer there probably are some other released recently and more original that fucking Mario all over again, inserting New on the tittle of the game doesnt make the game new at all.

Continue reading ‘Nintendo: If it sells don’t change it. [Bitchin’]’

07
Nov
09

Dragon Age is the NEW SHIT! [Review]

dragon age banner

While thats what the Bioware guys claim, this is the same old shit they have been doing since KotOR.

A “consolized” Action RPG with pretty linear progression (which sometimes splits and you can choose to do some quests in different order to look like you have freedom) that usually comes with the possibility of playing as either a moralfag or a douche. I didn’t like the combat in KotOR, but as RPG was superior in my opinion.

As I said, they have been making the same game since then, doing it worse each time and with a different theme.  Even the plot of the games is similar: You belong to a secret/special group (Jedi, Spectres , Grey Wardens) that fights against an evil ancient force. Can’t they come up with anything new? Seriously?

Continue reading ‘Dragon Age is the NEW SHIT! [Review]’

06
Nov
09

Yes. I hate videogames.

As the title reads, I hate videogames. But don’t get me wrong… only the new ones.

Yeah, every single new game that I try (with rare exceptions) turns out to be crap. I got to a point where I don’t even bother to try out most games and since some time I can tell how shitty a game will be just reading some info about it. The sad part is that I usually am right.

hype_chart

I know, I must be one of the most pessimistic gamers, but, let down after let down, disappointment after disappointment, I have got tired of this.

Time has come to rate games how they deserve, on a Badness scale.

Because I’m a little tired of  9 to 10 rating system most reviewers like to use. I will skip the cock sucking, and the praises to why wouldn’t you want to play that game, saving you time. But you don’t have to thank me, heh.

So I will put special love in the flaws of a game and rate it based on how many it has. And since I am an old school gamer wearing always nostalgia goggles there is no bigger flaw that making a shitty console port on a casual game… oh man I HATE those.

In the coming days you can expect an article. Or if i finish Dragon Age: Origins and very kind review of it.

Sincerely yours,

Reaven




About Poo

This generation of games is so terrible that I can only rate games depending on how bad they are.
That is, games can range from a little shitty to horse shit.
A single Poo means a game without a lot of bad features while a game rates as Horse Shit is something to stay away from.

Note: Please take this with sense of humor. If that game you like is shit i can't do anything about it.

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